Alcohol use is common among adults with no friends, relationships, or social lives. While alcohol is often portrayed as a social lubricant in the media, for most isolated loners their alcohol use occurs alone and in hiding. For them it is about introspective reflection and a chemical induced euphoria. Both male and female introverts engage in this type of behavior (not just stereotypical lonely housewives - though women do fit into this group).
Loners usually drink for two reasons:
Alcohol abuse produces a temporary enjoyment that isolated introverts often find very relaxing, enjoyable and even inspiring. The problem is that when they are not drinking (perhaps throughout their daily life), their use of alcohol will lead to increased depression and anxiety. Alcohol causes the brain to use up all of the person’s ability to feel naturally happy in their few hours that they are drunk (producing the euphoria or high). When they are not drinking, they are left drained and miserable. Like many parts of the loner lifestyle, it is a cycle that often gets worse over time. As the loner continues to drink, they find themselves gaining weight and losing their sanity more and more.
Like many things in a loner’s life, society penalizes their behavior because drinking alone is not considered socially acceptable. As such, introverted loners keep their drinking a secret. While they often are not the type to be drunk at work or in the daytime, loner alcoholics will be even more negative, moody, and miserable people during the day (on the down period – hungover) making people reject them even more.
Alcoholics with no friends have less interest in going out and making friends
For an introverted alcoholic who replaces socializing, dating, and friends with drinking alone, going out and attempting to be social is not very appealing. Why go back out in the world and face all the rejection and isolation, when they can drink alone and feel great all by themselves? Furthermore, if they have been abusing alcohol for some time, their appearance is likely bad (fat) making being rejected an all but certainty. They are often so far gone from society, it is hard for them to socialize on an intimate level. They can make it through small talk during the day, but more in depth conversations are difficult and they lack the social skills.
The more the alcoholic loner replaces socialization effort with alcohol the more difficult it becomes to break the cycle and go back to having a normal lifestyle. Some of these individuals will end up attempting AA type meetings, but these programs rarely work for introverted drinkers. The reason AA doesn’t work for loner type alcoholics is because they are private people and generally do not want to follow the cult like requirements of the group. The introvert is okay to go out to the meetings, but when they don’t want to have a sponsor calling them all day and checking up on them they quickly realize they don’t fit in. As such, they become the black sheep of the group, and are eventually socially rejected as an outsider.
It is hard for an introverted alcoholic to relate to AA type participants because these people tend to be more impressionistic, follow the herd, social drinkers, not critically thinking introverted drink-alone types who love their routines and cherish their alone time.
- Facebook depressing
- Everyone else is busy
- Slow responses to texts
- "I have no friends"
- Indicators of social rejection
- Depressed by old pictures
- People don't initiate contact
- Having no social circle
- Fat people with no friends
- Never invited places
- Lonely people who stop trying
- Aging and friendlessness
- Fears and problems
- Rejection by flaking
- Dating: men vs. women
Identity and Backgrounds