Free advice for adults on how to make friends and become more social.

How relationships and online dating differs for introverted loner men versus women.

There is virtually no comparison between an average single man with no friends compared to his female counterpart when it comes to dating. While for a man having no friends or social circle guarantees women will reject him, for women this is often seen as a positive trait because legions of lonely men appreciate her availability and perceived weakness.

Women who sign up for online dating have an unlimited supply of men offering them dates, sex, and long term companionship. Despite all these options, 90% of these potential suitors are ignored because they are perceived as not being good enough (too short, old, ugly, bald, poor, or socially isolated).

Men with no friends or existing social life get ignored and rejected by women (especially online)

Being a loner and single as a man often means attractive or average women do not show any interest in you. Guys send messages out on online dating websites, but get little or no replies. When women do respond, the conversation goes nowhere (ie. the woman eventually stops replying). Sometimes they may meet a woman for coffee however afterwards she will stop replying or tell them because she lacks interest. She may express this lack of attraction by saying there is “no chemistry”, or she “just wants to be friends”, or that she “isn’t feeling it”, or that he is a “nice guy”, etc. In some ways, this drawn out rejection is even worse for the rejected loser male.

The problem for male loners is that their lack of friends or a social circle is a deterrent for women. Women in America are simply not interested in guys who live a lonely life. Furthermore, other than approaching strangers on the street (which is socially frowned upon), the guy is limited to online dating which often will result in the experiences above. For single loners, the only women who will show genuine interest in them are women who are extremely overweight, much older, or from a foreign country (living abroad or a new immigrant).

Interestingly, single male loners prefer women who seem to be available. A girl with an active social life who is always going on “girls nights out” is seen as impossible to get close to. Many rejected loner men will post on forms looking for where to meet the lonesome girl who reads all day. Unfortunately, in 2014 even these girls have access to internet dating and are thus bombarded with requests from guys all day.

As the years of rejection accumulate, the male will eventually grow tired and stop putting effort into finding a partner. As part of giving up, the single male loner will often turn to alcohol, drugs, or overeating to compensate or feel a “high” in their life that is missing from the lack of social interaction. Unfortunately, alcohol and overeating result in weight gain making the man even more unattractive and unwanted by women. It is a cycle that only gets worse as the man ages.

Friendless women are bombarded with interest from guys online, but will find the guys they are interested in only consider them good enough for sex (and not good enough for a long term relationship)

Women who are loners and single have a much different experience than men do in the dating world. For women, the fact that they have no friends and don’t have an active social life is not a reason for men to reject them (in fact many guys want a girl of this background). Most guys will not care whether the women is popular, or active, or has a good job. What matters is that the woman is not overweight and is available to be with.

While single men are completely alone and have nobody interested in them, single women are literally bombarded with interest from men on POF, Ok Cupid, or other online dating websites. Even unattractive women are in high demand especially if they are not overweight. It is not uncommon for thin or average body size women to receive literally hundreds of messages a day if they live in a populated area.

Given the extreme amount of interest, most women will only choose to reply to guys who seem to have a lot going for them. While it is okay for the woman may be unemployed, overweight, and have no friends, she will rarely show interest in guys who share any of these negative qualities. This is often referred to as hypergamy and it is common, particularly in online dating. As a result, all of the women are seeking the same, very few male partners (tall, non bald, in shape, well off, nice face, etc).

The problem that single loner women face is that while it is very easy for them to attract a top male partner for sex, very few of these guys are willing consider these women for relationships. As a result, the men who these women select will only want something sexual. They won’t want to commit, go places in public, or see them for an extended period of time. While it would seem that there are legions of men willing to date and commit to these women (single loner males - described above), they are the very same guys she is ignoring messages from and saying she feels “no chemistry” when she meets them.

Do women ever give nice guys, who she previously rejected, a chance?

As women age, and after having been rejected (after sex) by many top male suitors, she may choose to settle or try to develop a relationship with a loner (ie. beta) male. Unlike the previous partners who she may have had sex with relatively easily, she will normally want to make the loner male work for it. He will sometimes be expected to provide financial support and commit long term. Often the loner male will have to have a financial situation that is far superior to hers to be considered.

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Friendship Making

How to make friends
How to meet people
How to hang out with people

Loner Experiences

Facebook depressing
Everyone else is busy
Slow responses to texts
"I have no friends"
Indicators of social rejection
Depressed by old pictures
People don't initiate contact
Having no social circle
Fat people with no friends
Never invited places
Lonely people who stop trying
Aging and friendlessness
Fears and problems
Rejection by flaking
Dating: men vs. women

Identity and Backgrounds

Typical loner profiles
Hiding lack of a social life
How to spot a loner
MGTOW and rejection
IQ Boasting
Alcholism and isolation

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