Part of the problem for friendless losers is that they find themselves having to hide their lack of a social life from the world. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who has no friends. The whole thing becomes a big game of hiding and pretending.
Need Friends to make friends
In the financial world, it normally takes capital or a really good idea to be successful. In the social world, it takes friends to make friends. Or, at the very least, having an existing social circle will make things a lot easier for you.
People with friends have instant credibility for new potential friends and contacts. A person who is accepted by others appears acceptable. If you are by yourself, it is much harder to find that likability and acceptance.
Having friends already also makes it much easier because you will be around other people more. When you're consistently at parties, events, and other gatherings you're chances will increase because of simple proximity.
If you've got no friends at all, it's hard to make new ones
What this all means is that if you are part of the unfortunately class of people with no local friends whatsoever, it's going to be the most difficult for you to get started. To go back to the business analogy, most new businesses fail and it's very difficult to launch a successful business from nothing.
A lot of people find themselves in situations of having no friends because they've recently moved to a new city, school, or are suffering from from years of an accumulated lack of social interaction. These people face the greatest challenges because they lack the existing connections that increase the number of people they meet and provide evidence of their social value.
While being in a situation of having no friends is difficult, it is not impossible or particularly rare. It is common for people to find themselves in new environments where they are alone. In fact, there is also a certain degree of acceptance given to people who are "new in town" and alone. It's understood that since you are new you don't have any friends. There is thus a window of opportunity that comes with being new in town.
This window of opportunity, however, does not last forever. It you've lived in your city for a number of years and it still have failed to make friends or formed new relationships people may see you as a social outcast.
The solution is to lie and pretend that you have a social life
If you're not "new in town" and are still a loser, you're going to have to lie to some degree about your social life. Tell stories about friends that don't exist and fun times you never had. A phrase that is frequently given in movies and sales job presentations is: "act as if." You need to fake it until you make it. As a loser, you need to fake having friends in order to establish friendships.
If you think being dishonest is something to be ashamed of, it's not. In the
social world people lie all the time. They lie about what they're doing. They
lie about being busy. Make no mistake: people always lie about their social
lives. If you're a social outcast, the first step to breaking in and being
successful is learning how to lie about your current situation.
- Facebook depressing
- Everyone else is busy
- Slow responses to texts
- "I have no friends"
- Indicators of social rejection
- Depressed by old pictures
- People don't initiate contact
- Having no social circle
- Fat people with no friends
- Never invited places
- Lonely people who stop trying
- Aging and friendlessness
- Fears and problems
- Rejection by flaking
- Dating: men vs. women
Identity and Backgrounds