Meeting new friends as an adult can be a challenge for those who do not have a pre-existing social circle to rely on. Often times, a person has moved to a new city, a new school, or a new job and is initially displaced socially. In other circumstances, a person may have lived socially isolated for a while and then find themselves looking for break in.
The most frequent advice given to people looking to meet new people is to:
The availability of these options is usually contingent on factors such as where the person lives, where they work, and their general life situation.
There is a difference between looking for people to date, and looking for people to just be friends with. In the dating world, you can formally ask people out and make plans with people without breaking social norms. There are websites dedicated to setting people up on dates. If you’re not looking for dating but only to make friends things are far less clear. You can’t just simply walk up to someone at the grocery store and ask them to “hang out as friends sometime”. This would obviously appear weird and socially awkward.
Normally people make friends with individuals in their proximity – people they work with, study with, etc. Social psychologists have called this “proximity theory”, which sounds a little like glorified common sense. Practically speaking, it is important to understand that you need to arrange your life situation in a way that causes you to be around other people.
Poor people tend to have more friends
One interesting example of proximity theory is that people who are poor financial tend to have more of a social life than people who are well off. Poor people are more likely to live in groups, work jobs with numerous coworkers, and live in communities with high population densities. They also are more likely to use public facilities like laundromats, libraries, and other places people frequent.
Rich people, on the other hand, isolate themselves with large houses and privacy. As a result, they are around less people and less likely to develop friendships and relationships. Go drive through the poor neighbourhood and you will see people all over the streets. You’ll see them hanging out together on balconies and front yards. In rich communities, people are shielded away from the world (and other people) much more.
If you want to meet new people you need to examine and arrange your current work and life structure so that you find yourself in closer proximity to other people. Sometimes this takes more than just joining a club. You may have to move to a larger community, take a new job, or find some new, more social, hobbies.
Getting around other people and putting yourself in social situations is the
first step to meeting new people. The next thing you have to do is learn
how to make friends with them.
- Facebook depressing
- Everyone else is busy
- Slow responses to texts
- "I have no friends"
- Indicators of social rejection
- Depressed by old pictures
- People don't initiate contact
- Having no social circle
- Fat people with no friends
- Never invited places
- Lonely people who stop trying
- Aging and friendlessness
- Fears and problems
- Rejection by flaking
- Dating: men vs. women
Identity and Backgrounds