Free advice for adults on how to make friends and become more social.

People never initiate contact or text first

Losers frequently complain that other people never contact them first. They always have to be the first to call, text, or message. It's frustrating, demoralizing, and discouraging. When the other person doesn't initiate contact, it means they aren't all that interested in you. This can happen in both a relationship or a friendship context.

A lack of initiation is a strong sign of social rejection.

If they never text first, they aren't playing games - they just don't care about you

Losers often confuse a lack of interest with the other person playing "games" or playing "hard to get". If you always have to initiate contact, the person isn't playing games at all. This is a sign that they don't care about you and don't want to talk to you. They are busy with their lives, or messaging people they are actually interested in. If you stop contacting them you will never hear from them ever again.

Why do people who aren't interested reply at all?

Sometimes people will reply to your messages out of a sense of obligation. They don't want to hurt your feelings or be too rude so they will reply simply to ease their own conscience. The problem for the person being rejected is that they often misread these replies as a sign of interest.

If you always have to message first and are confused that the other person always replies, you ought to examine factors such as:

In short, just because you get a response doesn't mean the person is interested in you. If you feel like or notice that you always have to text or make contact first, you need to examine the above factors more closely to determine their interest level. In the social world, rejection manifests itself in different ways. For more information on this, please see our page on other indicators of social rejection.

Social Skills Guide

   Adult Social Skills Training

Friendship Making

How to make friends
How to meet people
How to hang out with people

Loner Experiences

Facebook depressing
Everyone else is busy
Slow responses to texts
"I have no friends"
Indicators of social rejection
Depressed by old pictures
People don't initiate contact
Having no social circle
Fat people with no friends
Never invited places
Lonely people who stop trying
Aging and friendlessness
Fears and problems
Rejection by flaking
Dating: men vs. women

Identity and Backgrounds

Typical loner profiles
Hiding lack of a social life
How to spot a loner
MGTOW and rejection
IQ Boasting
Alcholism and isolation

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