For normal people with friends and social lives these thoughts that never cross their mind. For adult losers, having no friends causes legitimate problems that interfere with their ability to live normally and fit in. Some of the most common of which include:
- They have nobody to sign their passport as personal references who are not relatives. The people who they can ask may be individuals they haven’t spoken to in years and it would look incredibly weird to ask them to be references. It would be obvious and embarrassing that you have no friends to the old acquaintance you are asking.
- While for most loners finding a partner for marriage is not an option, if they ever had a wedding it would be obvious that they have no friends to invite or stand with them. For socially rejected adults, this would alert family members and the whole world to the fact that they are isolated and alone.
- Pictures taken at graduation ceremonies would show that the person has no close friends to invite and everyone there would be wondering where the person’s friends are.
- Facebook profiles show little activity and virtually no pictures with friends or out at parties/gatherings. Pictures with other people in them may be extremely dated making it obvious the person has no social life whatsoever.
- Certain professions and job applications require personal references that are not family members. Similar to the passport application, the loner has no one to ask other than perhaps old acquaintances who they haven’t spoken to in years. There is virtually no solution to this problem.
- If the loner wins or is given tickets to a sports game, concert, vacation or other event, the tickets often come in pairs. The problem is that the loner has no friends to invite to go with them. The people they do know who they can ask are distant contacts that they haven’t spoken to in possibly years or just casual acquaintances. Again, it would be obvious and embarrassing because it would show the world that they loner simply has nobody else to go with.
- While most socially rejected adults are unable to attract romantic partners, when dating it would become extremely obvious that you have no friends or social life. The discovery of your social isolation will often cause the potential romantic partner to reject you.
For socially rejected adults these are legitimate problems that cause anxiety, depression, and stress. Friendlessness is not just about being lonely, it is self-limiting condition that is very difficult to break out of and negatively impacts the social rejects’:
- career, travel and entertainment related options
- ability to partake in common activities and opportunities without people they know finding out that they are a loser
- the loners’ chances of dating or securing a long term relationship because they guy/girl they are seeing will often consider them not worthy of dating once they realize that they have no friends or social life
Social Skills Guide
©2014. All Rights Reserved.